You Get to Choose

You Get to Choose
The permission-based organizing philosophy and why rules were never the answer.

A while back, I had a conversation with a woman in my community who was beating herself up because she couldn't keep her kitchen counters completely clear. She had read somewhere that truly organized people don't have anything on their counters, and she had decided this was the standard she needed to meet.

I asked her how she felt when the counters were completely bare. She thought about it and said, "Honestly? A little cold. It doesn't feel like a home to me."

And I said: then that's not the rule for you.

I want to talk today about where organizing rules come from, why so many of them don't work for so many of us, and what I actually believe instead.

Where the rules come from

The organizing world is full of rules. Some of them are genuinely helpful principles that work for a lot of people. Many of them are one person's preference, scaled up, branded into a method, and presented as universal law.

The problem isn't that these rules exist. The problem is that when they don't work for us, the conclusion most people reach is: something is wrong with me. I'm not disciplined enough. I'm not trying hard enough. I'm too far gone for any system to help.

That conclusion is wrong every time. And I say that not to be encouraging in a vague sort of way, but because I truly believe it. The rule was wrong for you. You were not wrong for not following it.

The only question that actually matters

Instead of asking "am I following the rules correctly," I want you to start asking: does this work for me?

Does it work for me to keep my coffee mugs in a cabinet or on an open shelf where I can see them? Does it work for me to have a catch-all basket in the entryway, or does that become a black hole? Does it work for me to spend 10 minutes a day on this, or one longer session on the weekend?

You are the expert on your own life. No organizing system, no matter how popular or well-reviewed, knows your schedule, your brain, your family, your space, or what calm actually feels like to you. Only you know that.

The fireplace that changed everything for me

This is the heart of everything I teach, and it comes from a very personal place. Years ago, during one of the hardest seasons of my life, I decided I wanted to paint my fireplace white. Something in me just knew it was right.

And I cannot tell you how many people told me not to. My friends. The people at the paint store. The manager came over specifically to talk me out of it. But there was one person who said, quietly, actually, I think it might work. Let me show you what to use.

I went home with the paint. It took me three days. And when it was done, the whole energy of my home shifted. It was the beginning of something I didn't have words for yet: the practice of trusting my own inner voice. Of choosing my own way, even when it doesn't match what someone else says is right.

Your version of painting the fireplace might look completely different from mine. But that moment, when you trust yourself and act on it anyway? That's available to you. That's what permission-based organizing is really about.

Your home. Your rules. I mean that with my whole heart.

Ready for more?

If you'd like a gentle, step-by-step guide through your whole home with exactly this kind of approach, I'd love for you to pick up my book, Creating Space with Julie: A Step-by-Step Guide.

With love and encouragement,

Julie xo

P.S. Is there one "rule" about organizing or your home that you've been trying to follow, but it just doesn't feel right? I'd love to hear it.