The Sandwich Generation Is Real. Here's Where to Start.

The Sandwich Generation Is Real. Here's Where to Start.

When you're caring for kids, parents, and yourself all at once, less really is more.

A woman in my community sent me a message a little while ago that I've been thinking about ever since.

She said: "Julie, I'm trying to declutter my house. But my mom just moved into assisted living and I've taken most of her things. My kids are still at home and their stuff is everywhere. I haven't touched my own things in years. I don't know where to start. I don't even know if I should start."

I want to talk to that woman today. And I have a feeling there are a lot of you reading this who will recognize her.

If you're somewhere in your 40s or 50s and you're simultaneously caring for children who still need you and parents who are beginning to need you, you are what researchers call the sandwich generation. And the weight of that is real, in your body, in your schedule, and in your home.

How sandwich generation life shows up in your space

When you're managing multiple generations of needs, you often bring multiple generations of stuff into your life too. Your parents' belongings when they downsize or pass. Your children's belongings as they grow and change. Your own belongings, unsorted for years because there simply hasn't been a moment.

And on top of all of that, you're supposed to keep the house running, keep yourself functioning, maybe maintain a career, and somehow find time for your own wellbeing.

No wonder things pile up.

The first thing I want you to let go of

Before we talk about where to start decluttering, I want you to let go of one expectation: that your home should look like the homes of people who are in a different season of life.

A person whose kids are grown and whose parents are well has a very different capacity than you do right now. Your home is working hard for a busy, layered, demanding life. It's going to look like that. And that is allowed.

Where to actually begin

Start with whatever is draining you most. Not what's most visible to guests. Not what makes the most logical sense to tackle first. What costs you the most every single time you encounter it?

That's where your effort will give you the most relief. Maybe it's the entryway that greets you at the end of an already long day with chaos. Maybe it's the bathroom counter everyone shares. Maybe it's the one room that's become a dumping ground for everything that doesn't have a home.

Go there first. Give it 10 minutes. Come back tomorrow and give it 10 more. Less is more right now. And less, I promise you, is still real progress. 💕

Ready for more?

If you'd love to keep doing this work surrounded by a community of women who truly get it, I'd love to have you inside the You're More Than Your Stuff membership. Come as you are. We'll meet you there.

https://youremorethanyourstuff.com/

With love and encouragement,

Julie xo

P.S. Are you in the sandwich generation? What does your life look like right now? I'm here and I'm listening.