You're More Than Your Stuff

Why the clutter is almost never really about the clutter.

I remember the year I cried almost every day.

I was in the middle of a big life transition, my home felt like it didn't belong to me, and every time I looked around at the clutter and the piles and the things I hadn't dealt with, I would feel this wave of shame. Like the state of my home was proof of something awful about me. Like I was failing at something everyone else had figured out.

It took me a long time to realize: the clutter was never really about the clutter.

After years of working with women through their homes on Zoom, and in my communities and courses, I can tell you with complete certainty that this is almost always true. The overflowing closet isn't just a storage problem. The pile of papers that hasn't moved in two years isn't just disorganization. The collection of things that used to belong to someone you've lost isn't clutter at all.

The stuff is holding something. And until we understand what it's holding, no organizational system in the world will create lasting change.

What clutter is usually really about

In my experience, clutter tends to represent a few different things. Unfinished decisions, things we couldn't quite bring ourselves to deal with, so they just stayed. Aspirational identities, the person we meant to become, the hobby we planned to take up, the version of ourselves we were working toward. Grief, for people, for relationships, for chapters of life that have closed.

And sometimes clutter is simply the residue of a season that was too hard to keep up with. A time when survival was the only goal, and tidying was not one of them. And that's okay.

Why you need compassion before you need a system

When we approach our clutter with judgment, this is embarrassing, I should have dealt with this already, what is wrong with me, we create shame. And shame makes it harder to think clearly, harder to make decisions, harder to take action.

When we approach our clutter with curiosity, what is this pile actually about? what was going on when this accumulated?, we create understanding. And understanding gives us a much better starting point.

This is why I always say: you are more than your stuff. Your home's current state does not define you. The pile doesn't tell the whole story. You are a whole person, and you deserve to be approached, by yourself and by everyone around you, as one.

The shift that changes everything

The women I've watched truly transform their homes, through our calls, our communities, our courses, didn't do it by finally getting disciplined enough. They did it by changing their relationship with themselves. They started being kinder about what they saw when they looked around. They stopped making the clutter mean something awful about who they were. They started asking what they wanted their space to feel like.

That shift is available to you too. And it starts with this: you are not your mess. You are so much more than that. 💕

Ready for more?

If you'd like a gentle, step-by-step guide through your whole home with exactly this kind of approach, I'd love for you to pick up my book, Creating Space with Julie: A Step-by-Step Guide.

https://www.creatingspacewithjulie.com/product-details/product/book

With love and encouragement,

Julie xo

P.S. Has the clutter in your home ever felt like it meant something more than just stuff? You're not alone. I'd love to hear from you.